Braving the Battle …

Braving the Battle …

The first thought when I was told the news of what had been discovered from a scan, the dark sombre news that came without any wrapper of hope… nothing, no glimmer…..

I have to walk into battle now, not a battle with cancer, a battle with my mind. To attempt to salvage anything beautiful from the situation & to protect with all my strength, my family. To get through what lay ahead, to learn to flow differently.

Accepting, fully accepting what was out of my control & what was within my control. Not always as obvious as one thinks.

From day one, after I somehow managed to get myself out of the room where my world was smashed … the badges I had been issued .. of -

‘Soon to be widow’

‘Carer’

‘Soon to be single parent’

The one fundamental piece of the jigsaw to surviving, coping, adjusting, hoping & progressing was ….. my thoughts.

My mind mumbles, that bubbled continuously became my guide. Questions surrounding what was happening, what was yet to happen whirred in my mind, I got things clear, in a way that felt like unspoken logic. Piece by piece my findings were filed mentally & the strength grew, the courage came.

Myself & my children have been on the receiving end of so much love, care & attention … which has & does play a valuable part in us embracing our new life, trusting it & finding the joy.

However, without the thoughts … the random thoughts & ways of viewing the broken pieces, I’m not sure I would be spotting the sparkles in life.

My message to you all …

Keep going, youre not alone & you’re worth it ❤ . 

Michelle X